It Takes Courage To Be Who You Really Are: Are You Being True, To You?

It Takes Courage To Be Who You Really Are: Are You Being True, To You?

Be Yourself.
Because that’s what makes you, YOU
!” 
-AQT

Yep, that’s me in the photo. It’s a caricature my nine-year-old daughter made on the computer. “Look mommy, it’s you!” she said. And indeed, the likeness of me is pretty spot on. She was proud of it, and I thought it was sweet. My son said, “even the glasses look like yours do!” It is uniquely me. She captured the essence of my personality because she knows who I am. She knows what makes me, me.

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She and I were talking the other day about likes, dislikes, who we are, what we like to do, what we don’t like to do, what makes us happy, why we wear the clothes we wear, why we named the dog Stella, why we have the friends we do…the list goes on. But you get it, we were talking about everything

Suddenly she exclaimed, “Be yourself. Because that’s what makes you, you!” She was very excited about her reflection. “You need to use that as one of your quotes for work.” I was excited. Not only did I like and think what she said was true, it’s a thought I always want her to keep in the forefront of her mind. 

She is at an age where she is uniquely unfettered, animatedly her. For the most part, she doesn’t care what others think. She’s also on the adolescence cusp which means, peer pressure, intense emotions, wanting to fit in, mean girls… 

As she matures, my hope for her, amidst an ever-changing, growing, emotional time, is that she can stay true to the course of her own path and not lose sight of who she is as an individual. That can be so very hard to do. 

I see some of myself as a little girl in her, similarities yet also complete differences. She is more social, and has more confidence (in herself) than I did at that age. She is very strong-willed and will definitely keep us on our toes as she gets older… It can cause some angst every now and then, but I know that trait will benefit her for the greater good later in life. I often think of the Sheryl Sandberg quote when describing her personality, “I want every little girl who’s told she’s bossy to be told instead she has leadership skills.” That quote fits her to a T, and I would not change it for the world.

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The picture. The quote. They came about at separate points in time. In my mind though, they kept coming together to form a story. I wasn’t exactly sure what that story would be until I started writing… and then it became so clear to me. 

The wisdom and innocence of a young girl. The honesty and conviction of her statement. The truth in her words. Over time, who you are as a person will evolve and change but throughout the growth process, that little kid inside of you, she is still in there. Yeah, she may have a few wrinkles, maybe a grey hair or two and no longer fit in the play-clothes she used to wear, but she’s still there. Having said that, it can be easy to lose sight of her, especially as you age. 

I’ve found as I’ve grown older, more so after having children, that serious Amber is more dominant than silly Amber. Some interests/activities that I used to be passionate about and did on a regular basis have been pushed aside. I miss her. I know that Amber is in there, as she still comes out on occasion but not like she used to. I have more responsibilities now, and obligations of work and family are the priority.  And as a result, the serious side of me tends to be the one in the driver’s seat. 

I am working on having that Amber around as a constant companion, someone I don’t have to intentionally focus on, just there naturally like she used to be. My husband and I were just talking about this the other day. We both are working on bringing our silly, our passions to the surface – it’s important for our relationship in just being us. It’s important for our kids to see. It is important because it is part of who are as individuals, to be who we really are. And why hide that?

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“It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.”
-e.e. Cummings

It takes courage to be who you really are. Are you happy? When asked that question, the majority of people will say they want to be happy. Many people though, are not happy and often…they have no idea why

A good question to frequently ask yourself is, “are you being true to you”? It is SO important to be yourself. Simply because as with most things in life, an original is always worth more than a copy. Being true to you will make you happy. It also makes you authentic and when you are authentic, that light will shine outward.

Other people, things, and keeping constantly busy will not make you happy. You have to start from within. It is not always easy. 

Who you truly are as a person exists in your core, and staying true to who you are is a long-term-life exercise. It entails having space and the ability to listen to your “inner you” voice. This can be hard because outside noise can get in the way. Outside noise can shift your ability to stay on your true path. It can cause you to take a detour.

What do you see when you look in the mirror? If you are searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror. Change has to come from within before it can come from anyone else. Taking a hard look in the mirror means standing in front of yourself… Reflecting, being vulnerable and honest. It means finding the courage to be who you really are. Being true to you.

People mean well but not everyone will understand what your true path for you, is. Often people will only understand from their level of perception. And that is ok. You know who you are. 

I am uniquely me, and you are uniquely you. Are you being true to that uniqueness?  Are you being true to you? The question is, do you let her shine or has the adult you kept her quiet?It’s not too late to set her free. To be who you really are. I can help you with that. Ask me how.  

Email me at, amber@tobecoachingandconsulting.com

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